A new year--- a new beginning.... no more excuses. I am going to do it. I have lost some weight, bought some smaller clothes & reasoned myself to have just a bit of this, just a little of this added.
Next thing you know, those new smaller sizes are getting snug & I am sick & tired. I let months of work slip & now I can not afford to let his happen again.
Today I saw the Kellogg Special K Challenge commercial several times "01-01-10 The Challenge Begins"--- I am borrowing it and changing it a bit to be "01-01-10 The Real Me Begins".
I know who I am and I feel too many people make assumptions of who I am because they feel that they can pigeon hole me because of my weight. I feel my husband's family dismisses me because of my weight. It does not matter what I do or have done in my life to them.
It all comes down to I am not a "size two" and anything that I have to say or do is not as important as someone who is of an acceptable size.
I am not longer going to just be dismissed or allow my opinions be second fiddle to anyone else when it comes to my life & my family.
I am a clean slate... 2010 is My Year!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friends Network
I am e-mailing certain friends who have had their own struggle with
this battle.
this battle.
You are my support team! I love you guys!
"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down but the staying down." Mary Pickford
I love this quote... I found it from another forum member... I am going to hang it up in the house....
This is going to happen!
This is going to happen... I am getting stronger and stronger every day! I have had this plan for years did it and did very well but life got in the way. Now I am ready to receive the message.
I looked at Scott his morning and said "you know this is going to work right?" He said "you just have to be ready to do it-- it is like when I quit smoking"
I got a little mad a first but once I thought about it. I wanted to be smaller & fit but I wasn't ready to do everything that the program demanded. I got so tired of explaining to people why I needed to eat so many times a day. I got annoyed at hearing "you are eating again?". I needed to work the program and let it work for me.
It is like my Dad says to my Great Aunt who never follows her doctor's advice-- "when did you get your medical degree". I have quipped this off to people who make that comment now. They tend to shut up after hearing that just once.
I did it successfully before with a trainer and at that point in my life I was single, had my own house and I was my focus.
I am not blaming work or my family but I put everybody's needs above my own health. I am not trying to be selfish but as I put in my signature on the 6WBMO site... " This time I am doing it for me"
I want to be here to enjoy Austin's life & our life with Scott. I don't anyone but us to have a say in how he is raised, I want to be here.
I am not knocking a death's door but I don't want to get even close. I am asthmatic-- enter the meds for that... I have PCOS enter the meds for that. I don't want to be like my Grandmother and have to take a table full of prescriptions before the day starts and again when you go to bed.
She was always a small woman, so size does not matter when it comes to some things, but why up the ante?
I suck at gambling and had to take Statistics twice in college, so why gamble with my life. (Okay I had to take Statistics twice due to a bad first year TA who constantly stopped & started equations---Not exactly a "Math-magician" like my friend Faith--- but you get the point!)
I can honestly say for the first time in along time, I am proud of myself! Not for my photography or this or that... but for taking care of myself.
I also told Scott last night, the blue jeans that I am wearing in the "blue print" picture are not long for this world-- they keep falling off. I bought a pair of black pants a month ago and I put them on to go out in last night and by the time I got down stairs, they were falling down my hips and I kept tripping over them. So they are going to who ever wants them.
I did something risky at the beginning of this journey-- I bagged up the old clothes and got them ready for Good Will. I left myself about 4 pairs of pants and 10 shirts and 2 dresses. I can't go back & I refuse to buy anything else that says size 24. So here is the trick, I am going to buy only clothes that my Aunt can help me alter as I lose. I know 310 is a big number but I am 16 lbs less than I was a few weeks ago. Plus it is almost "that time" so the number should even be lower but you know the whole water weight BS, we ladies go through.
I am having my Lunch while typing this-- Shrimp fried Rice. Not what you would think of as diet food. That is because it is not a diet I am on. Diets restrict, I am only restricted by my imagination. This is my way of eating (WOE)-- every 2.5-3 hours 5-6 times a day. Food proportioned to rev up my metabolism. I do not need to explain it or apologize for it. I will offer the info if someone asks, but other than that, it just is what it is!
Oh yeah, the plan lets me know what foods do not work for my body type and I journal what I eat to track progress & fine tune what helps the weight come off faster.
So far I know that asparagus (which I love anyway) is a God send. A perfect food if you will, a great diuretic. Try to stay away from the canned (added sodium), fresh is best but you can find the spears (flash frozen-- no additives) and they work just as well.
I found them the other day at Aldi for about $2.50 a bag, not bad at all. Also I love spicy food, so cayenne pepper & garlic have become faves of mine for food. I used to hate garlic always made me feel yucky on my tummy. I am thinking that it was the butter or oil cooked with it that made the difference. I have not had a problem now that I don't so much as even use Pam.
I love scallops too so I will be buying some and trying out a new recipe.
Here is the recipe if you would like to try it.
2oz cooked shrimp (run under water to help get the tails off & rinses excess sodium prior to cooking)
1/2 cup jasmine rice (cooked)
1/2 cup chopped multi-colored peppers (I use the frozen pepper stir fry mix-- this stuff is also a God send)
1 cup spinach
2oz NSA Chicken Broth (I use organic)
Cayenne Pepper & Garlic to taste
Suaté the veggies in the broth on Med/Hi
Add shrimp
Stir fry real good
Reduce heat and add rice (it will get too sticky if you do not)
--- you may need a splash more of the broth at this point and cook until
you are satisfied with the mixture... then enjoy!!!!
Let me know if you try this... it is sooooooo good!
I looked at Scott his morning and said "you know this is going to work right?" He said "you just have to be ready to do it-- it is like when I quit smoking"
I got a little mad a first but once I thought about it. I wanted to be smaller & fit but I wasn't ready to do everything that the program demanded. I got so tired of explaining to people why I needed to eat so many times a day. I got annoyed at hearing "you are eating again?". I needed to work the program and let it work for me.
It is like my Dad says to my Great Aunt who never follows her doctor's advice-- "when did you get your medical degree". I have quipped this off to people who make that comment now. They tend to shut up after hearing that just once.
I did it successfully before with a trainer and at that point in my life I was single, had my own house and I was my focus.
I am not blaming work or my family but I put everybody's needs above my own health. I am not trying to be selfish but as I put in my signature on the 6WBMO site... " This time I am doing it for me"
I want to be here to enjoy Austin's life & our life with Scott. I don't anyone but us to have a say in how he is raised, I want to be here.
I am not knocking a death's door but I don't want to get even close. I am asthmatic-- enter the meds for that... I have PCOS enter the meds for that. I don't want to be like my Grandmother and have to take a table full of prescriptions before the day starts and again when you go to bed.
She was always a small woman, so size does not matter when it comes to some things, but why up the ante?
I suck at gambling and had to take Statistics twice in college, so why gamble with my life. (Okay I had to take Statistics twice due to a bad first year TA who constantly stopped & started equations---Not exactly a "Math-magician" like my friend Faith--- but you get the point!)
I can honestly say for the first time in along time, I am proud of myself! Not for my photography or this or that... but for taking care of myself.
I also told Scott last night, the blue jeans that I am wearing in the "blue print" picture are not long for this world-- they keep falling off. I bought a pair of black pants a month ago and I put them on to go out in last night and by the time I got down stairs, they were falling down my hips and I kept tripping over them. So they are going to who ever wants them.
I did something risky at the beginning of this journey-- I bagged up the old clothes and got them ready for Good Will. I left myself about 4 pairs of pants and 10 shirts and 2 dresses. I can't go back & I refuse to buy anything else that says size 24. So here is the trick, I am going to buy only clothes that my Aunt can help me alter as I lose. I know 310 is a big number but I am 16 lbs less than I was a few weeks ago. Plus it is almost "that time" so the number should even be lower but you know the whole water weight BS, we ladies go through.
I am having my Lunch while typing this-- Shrimp fried Rice. Not what you would think of as diet food. That is because it is not a diet I am on. Diets restrict, I am only restricted by my imagination. This is my way of eating (WOE)-- every 2.5-3 hours 5-6 times a day. Food proportioned to rev up my metabolism. I do not need to explain it or apologize for it. I will offer the info if someone asks, but other than that, it just is what it is!
Oh yeah, the plan lets me know what foods do not work for my body type and I journal what I eat to track progress & fine tune what helps the weight come off faster.
So far I know that asparagus (which I love anyway) is a God send. A perfect food if you will, a great diuretic. Try to stay away from the canned (added sodium), fresh is best but you can find the spears (flash frozen-- no additives) and they work just as well.
I found them the other day at Aldi for about $2.50 a bag, not bad at all. Also I love spicy food, so cayenne pepper & garlic have become faves of mine for food. I used to hate garlic always made me feel yucky on my tummy. I am thinking that it was the butter or oil cooked with it that made the difference. I have not had a problem now that I don't so much as even use Pam.
I love scallops too so I will be buying some and trying out a new recipe.
Here is the recipe if you would like to try it.
Shrimp Fried Rice
***notice there is no oil in this--- a good non stick pan will get it done!***2oz cooked shrimp (run under water to help get the tails off & rinses excess sodium prior to cooking)
1/2 cup jasmine rice (cooked)
1/2 cup chopped multi-colored peppers (I use the frozen pepper stir fry mix-- this stuff is also a God send)
1 cup spinach
2oz NSA Chicken Broth (I use organic)
Cayenne Pepper & Garlic to taste
Suaté the veggies in the broth on Med/Hi
Add shrimp
Stir fry real good
Reduce heat and add rice (it will get too sticky if you do not)
--- you may need a splash more of the broth at this point and cook until
you are satisfied with the mixture... then enjoy!!!!
Let me know if you try this... it is sooooooo good!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Stoke the Fire
I have been following the plan, a few slips here & there. I have always managed to get myself back on plan with the next meal.
I am not going to beat myself up over a minor slip or finding myself out without the food I am going to custom order what I need and go from there.
Yesterday we were with Scott's family and his grandmother made a comment about how good his mom looked since she dropped 10 lbs.
I was seeing red, I dropped 14 lbs in the past two weeks but they never commented on it. I know this sounds bad but I never felt bad about myself until I met his family. I think it great his mom dropped some weight but it was like she was saying that encouraging me to lose weight. No one in his family knows that I am doing this plan. I am doing it for me so telling them is really of no consequence. Gee thanks for noticing!
By what they say it makes me feel that a person's value is only placed in where they land on the scale & the clothes aisle.
His grandmother will talk about some one's weight & then follow it up with "I really hope you can lose some to help with your asthma." Like that excuses it for insulting me, by talking about how big someone has gotten.
I had my own grandmother that made my life a living hell because of my weight & she passed away in September and I do not need to have any one take her place, thank you very much.
I was listening to the podcast the other day about how parents can encourage unhealthy eating habits in children if they order them to clean their plates or chastise them when they eat.
I have a lot of these scars to work through with my own family. Constantly hearing my dad say "you don't need that" whether I wanted it or not it made me feel ashamed like I did something wrong by even looking at it. I remember my mother embarrassing me my freshman year of High School. My friend's dad offered me a soda after a band concert & she stepped in & said I only allow her one can of soda a day and it should be diet. I wanted to curl up under a chair and die. She didn't even give me a chance to answer and make my own choice. (Today, my mom did say she notice that I have lost some weight. That made me feel good.)
They wonder why I starved myself in High School. The weird thing about it I had praise upon praise heaped upon me for that, the most unhealthy eating/not eating choice of all.
However now they are constantly forcing food on you. Do you want something to eat is out of their mouths before you get in the door. The weird thing is I just want to eat when I am there.
I am not really hungry but maybe I am trying to fill some painful void. They now act insulted if you do not want to eat or worse yet bring our own food.
I made squash today & I am the only one who ate any. Not cool at all. They could have at least tried it.
I am not going to beat myself up over a minor slip or finding myself out without the food I am going to custom order what I need and go from there.
Yesterday we were with Scott's family and his grandmother made a comment about how good his mom looked since she dropped 10 lbs.
I was seeing red, I dropped 14 lbs in the past two weeks but they never commented on it. I know this sounds bad but I never felt bad about myself until I met his family. I think it great his mom dropped some weight but it was like she was saying that encouraging me to lose weight. No one in his family knows that I am doing this plan. I am doing it for me so telling them is really of no consequence. Gee thanks for noticing!
By what they say it makes me feel that a person's value is only placed in where they land on the scale & the clothes aisle.
His grandmother will talk about some one's weight & then follow it up with "I really hope you can lose some to help with your asthma." Like that excuses it for insulting me, by talking about how big someone has gotten.
I had my own grandmother that made my life a living hell because of my weight & she passed away in September and I do not need to have any one take her place, thank you very much.
I was listening to the podcast the other day about how parents can encourage unhealthy eating habits in children if they order them to clean their plates or chastise them when they eat.
I have a lot of these scars to work through with my own family. Constantly hearing my dad say "you don't need that" whether I wanted it or not it made me feel ashamed like I did something wrong by even looking at it. I remember my mother embarrassing me my freshman year of High School. My friend's dad offered me a soda after a band concert & she stepped in & said I only allow her one can of soda a day and it should be diet. I wanted to curl up under a chair and die. She didn't even give me a chance to answer and make my own choice. (Today, my mom did say she notice that I have lost some weight. That made me feel good.)
They wonder why I starved myself in High School. The weird thing about it I had praise upon praise heaped upon me for that, the most unhealthy eating/not eating choice of all.
However now they are constantly forcing food on you. Do you want something to eat is out of their mouths before you get in the door. The weird thing is I just want to eat when I am there.
I am not really hungry but maybe I am trying to fill some painful void. They now act insulted if you do not want to eat or worse yet bring our own food.
I made squash today & I am the only one who ate any. Not cool at all. They could have at least tried it.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
What I posted today on the Provida Site
I know this is slack to double post... but I am! I am doing well... have ad a few stumbles, but I am getting head wrapped around the information and getting ready for being "Perfect On Plan" also known as POP!
______________
Okay has been a few days since I checked in but I had to reorder my book, I have misplaced it & didn't want to use that as an excuse to just let the program go by the way side.
I received my "buddy kit" book yesterday and decided to while eating on plan. read... & I mean really read the program. This includes reading twice to make sure I have it in my head-- good & clear!
Feed the body, feed the mind & feed the soul!
There are parts that have just now sunk in. I bought the program back in 02, lost weight--- had some other issues with PCOS & Asthma (steriods etc.) & gained more than I lost.
I am going to make sure I get my head around it-- because I am going to be doing this WOE for life.
I had a doctor's appt. with my asthma/allegry doc & my breathing is better than it has been in 4 years! Four Years!
He said now that we have the breathing under control, I am going to get on my soap box--- we need to get some of the weight off of you. I said yes, I know the number is high but two weeks ago it was 326-- now I am 315-- I told him about the 6WBMO & he decided to keep talking about portions and such & how he gets on to his wife about this & that.
I have a follow up appointment wiht him in 4 months so I will take my "little black book" & we will just see if he wants to listen to what I have to say then!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
First Week Down (Almost...)
First Week Down officially on Monday but let see where we are at this point.
9 lbs gone. I know that is water weight but I am feeling better. Made a Turkey breast to eat from for a couple days. It was so delicious and moist.
Weekends always trip me up, so I may do all my weekend cooking on Friday night to make sure I am ready with on plan items.
I am off to sleepy town... good night!
9 lbs gone. I know that is water weight but I am feeling better. Made a Turkey breast to eat from for a couple days. It was so delicious and moist.
Weekends always trip me up, so I may do all my weekend cooking on Friday night to make sure I am ready with on plan items.
I am off to sleepy town... good night!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Goals and Rewards
In the past I have be reluctant to put my goals down on paper because I didn't want to "jinx" myself.
Looking back it seems as though I may have been afraid of it holding me accountable.
So here goes:
Clean Start Date:
April 27th, 2009:
Six Weeks Goal (6/8/09): Lose a dress/pant size and at least 25 lbs.
Go to the gym at least twice a week and work up to 45 minutes of cardio.
____________________
Long Range: Lose 100 pounds by Christmas. It is 8 months away and it needs to go somewhere, I am opting not to renew its lease on my frame anymore.
Get rid of the steriods. I know my weight affects my asthma and I know the steriods affect my weight (vicious cycle ain't it?)
____________
One Year Goal: Be at or near goal of 145 lbs. To actually be in a picture with my son on his birthday and not have anyone ask me to step out of the picture.
Looking back it seems as though I may have been afraid of it holding me accountable.
So here goes:
Clean Start Date:
April 27th, 2009:
Six Weeks Goal (6/8/09): Lose a dress/pant size and at least 25 lbs.
Go to the gym at least twice a week and work up to 45 minutes of cardio.
____________________
Long Range: Lose 100 pounds by Christmas. It is 8 months away and it needs to go somewhere, I am opting not to renew its lease on my frame anymore.
Get rid of the steriods. I know my weight affects my asthma and I know the steriods affect my weight (vicious cycle ain't it?)
____________
One Year Goal: Be at or near goal of 145 lbs. To actually be in a picture with my son on his birthday and not have anyone ask me to step out of the picture.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Chubby Asthmatic with PCOS starts out on her journey.
Well the title sums it up... pretty much. I have been off and on steriods over the past 10 years and it has played havoc with my weight. I can breathe but the weight gain gets me stern looks from people like all I do is sit around and eat. It is quite the contrary... I also have PCOS and a slow metabolism and I sometimes eat once a day (no not even as a binge) and only twice daily for the rest of the time. I know I am supposed to eat smaller meals spread throughout the day I did it before & it worked but life happened and got in the way so now I am getting back on track.
I had chubby tendencies as a child but never really fat (although I thought that I was). I starved myself in high school down to a very skinny for my size 130 and lived off of Diet Coke and cheese on wheat crackers for my whole Junior Year. Maybe ate a spot of dinner and keep feeding my ego with all the compliments. Little did I know the damage that I was doing to myself.
I kept getting pains in my side that were unbearable and Mom took me to the doctor and I was having a slight gallbladder attack and was praised by the nurse who weighed me until the doctor found out how much I was not eating. Welcome in the first dose of steriods. I was up 12 pounds by the time I started my Senior Year. Not big at all just a curvy girl and college added the normal 15+.
I graduated college at a shocking 210 lbs. I was not pleased so I started starving myself again and the funny thing is the weight just kept creeping upward. I eventually had my gallbladder removed at the age of 24. Those are some symptoms I will not go into. I have tried everything to lose weight that one can imagine since that time.
Asthma issues and steriods caused my weight to climb little by little. I worked out with a trainer and got it back on track with the 5 mini meals program of APEX. It was great but I started working more (12 hour days) & then I met my now husband and fell into his way of eating. Frozen dinners & eating out became a reality.
I was over 300lbs when I had my son via c-section. Lost weight from nursing and was feeeling real good about myself and then I had a real bad asthma spell and had to go back on steriods and boom!!!! Instant weight gain and then some (35+lbs). I am not proud to say that I now weigh in at 326 but I am doing something about it.
I am starting the 6 Week Body Makeover. I did it before and lost 30 lbs and of course life got in the way. But now it is me-time. I have had enough of the stares and back handed compliments.It seems to some people, it does not matter all that I have accomplished in my life and what I know. They feel the need to marginalize you because of your weight. My own mother in law asks me to step out of pictures with my husband and son. Funny thing is I am a photographer, I take people's pictures all the time but have only been in a few since my son was born.
I have a issue with that but it will addressed as I go... but for now I am here to worry about me and how I can improve myself not for them--- but for me!!!
I had chubby tendencies as a child but never really fat (although I thought that I was). I starved myself in high school down to a very skinny for my size 130 and lived off of Diet Coke and cheese on wheat crackers for my whole Junior Year. Maybe ate a spot of dinner and keep feeding my ego with all the compliments. Little did I know the damage that I was doing to myself.
I kept getting pains in my side that were unbearable and Mom took me to the doctor and I was having a slight gallbladder attack and was praised by the nurse who weighed me until the doctor found out how much I was not eating. Welcome in the first dose of steriods. I was up 12 pounds by the time I started my Senior Year. Not big at all just a curvy girl and college added the normal 15+.
I graduated college at a shocking 210 lbs. I was not pleased so I started starving myself again and the funny thing is the weight just kept creeping upward. I eventually had my gallbladder removed at the age of 24. Those are some symptoms I will not go into. I have tried everything to lose weight that one can imagine since that time.
Asthma issues and steriods caused my weight to climb little by little. I worked out with a trainer and got it back on track with the 5 mini meals program of APEX. It was great but I started working more (12 hour days) & then I met my now husband and fell into his way of eating. Frozen dinners & eating out became a reality.
I was over 300lbs when I had my son via c-section. Lost weight from nursing and was feeeling real good about myself and then I had a real bad asthma spell and had to go back on steriods and boom!!!! Instant weight gain and then some (35+lbs). I am not proud to say that I now weigh in at 326 but I am doing something about it.
I am starting the 6 Week Body Makeover. I did it before and lost 30 lbs and of course life got in the way. But now it is me-time. I have had enough of the stares and back handed compliments.It seems to some people, it does not matter all that I have accomplished in my life and what I know. They feel the need to marginalize you because of your weight. My own mother in law asks me to step out of pictures with my husband and son. Funny thing is I am a photographer, I take people's pictures all the time but have only been in a few since my son was born.
I have a issue with that but it will addressed as I go... but for now I am here to worry about me and how I can improve myself not for them--- but for me!!!
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